From the spring of 2019, you can Kim Van Oncen in the series of Thirties on the job. Kim is the daughter-in-law of Sonja Kimpen. Do you remember Niels De Jonck yet who, together with his mother participation to The Big Jump? Well, Kim is the wife of Niels. Kim is looking forward to 2019, not only because of her acting debut, premiered at one, also because they finally have a stillborn child can be registered as a real child!
Kim shared on Saturday an emotional message on Facebook. Because the post is so beautiful and because we believe that everyone – even those who are not on social media – this post got read, we have decided to send the message to publish integrally. The chance is big that you a handkerchief to pick up, that is absolutely not a disgrace.
“This is perhaps the longest and most candid post I will ever share, but it is one that should look like. Our only desire is to people, who are in our shoes, or have to deal with loved ones who have anything of that sort to endure, to help. I hope that with this post as a support and help for the hundreds of people – especially mom’s – that to me since 15/12/2016 through all kinds of channels have requested help. Parents who me contacted to share their feelings as they experienced that anywhere else could or was appropriate. This is for us … the parents of an asterisk.
From January 2019, can we, stillborn girl officially registered as ‘our daughter’. This can only be for children born after six months pregnancy. Without that I knew it, it turned out to be the last bit of open wound. Thanks to the registration, it may finally a portable scar…
This post comes because children who are stillborn are still a bit in the forgotten. Here you can find nobody to blame, because people wear their grief like private and can only talk about it when the first raw pain has passed into a scar. This will give other people there is little or no attention and they know that it is just a fait divers. And precisely what hurts. Why? Because it is to your child. As I for the umpteenth time the question get how I dealt with my miscarriage or curettage, cries my heart. Then I want to be, two years after the birth of our beautiful girl, my story to let people understand how they can deal with people whose child is stillborn. If I were the person that this subject is debatable and can make it clear, I take that role like me. Something negative transform into something positive: that is the only thing I can do.
After our wonderful son, we were soon pregnant with our second child. As the zondagskinderen as us, was a daughter. There was no problem. You wait, requires, provides for yourself and the baby in your belly, choose carefully the sugared almonds and card, makes bows for the room , let the perfect shade of paint mixing in the verfcentrale on the walls of her room, … All lapping further and is self-evident. You do your checks and you are naive enough to see the result of this pregnancy is not in doubt.
Until you reach one of the final checks at the gynaecologist. Starting with a 3D image of the beautiful face of your child, where you full of admiration and with a heart that overflows of love, to stare. And then follows the moment in which the device descends, and the professor is silent, thoughtful looks, and the ugly words ” there is a problem’ line. Than is the black. Certainly if there is one minute, six people in the room: then you know that the wrong quantity. While my body begins to of the shock, and the nurses me try to help, I see Niels – the man who I so much love – to sit beside me. His beautiful face in a fold of which I recognize, and so very hate: he goes inside broken, but continues to look dignified and strong as a rock in the surf. Also he is trying to get me to calm down, he also tries to understand what the doctor says. The extroverts I let her emotions run wild, while my previously introverted man control over the situation try to get. I remember no word of what is said.
A little while later, we pass moms in the waiting room for hours waiting because our routine check-up suddenly, a nightmare was. They turn their gaze because of my swollen and tearful face says everything what there is to say. Every pregnant woman in that waiting room will understand me without words. They find the wait is not bad, as long as they míj but should not be at that time. God, what I wanted then, so as not míj.
If I the hospital out walking I don’t even know the name is not more of the problem that our little one is so heavy in difficulty. I know only that they will not pick up. That feel every fiber in my body. Stunned, we drive to the house, to Jack, that made me smiling and happy welcomes while the babysitter – luckily one of my best friends – immediately notice that the wrong quantity.
The day after we must return to make arrangements. After a night long staring at the ceiling, you get exhausted to hear that you have a week to wait to give birth because that is the procedure. That your child has no chance of survival and that there are no solutions. We get an appointment for a week later delivery.