Conversations Not Meant To Be Public: Jay Gruden Realizes He No Longer Needs Daniel Snyder

By J-Dub and Eight Thirty Seven

Editor’s Note: This article is a collaborative effort between J-Dub and Eight Thirty Seven from First Order Historians. Read at your own risk. 

Last night, the unthinkable happened, particularly for a New York Giants fan like Eight Thirty Seven and a Philadelphia Eagles fan like J-Dub.  In one fell swoop, both of their seasons ended like how Morrie got it in “Goodfellas;” with the hands of Washington Redskins’ quarterback Kirk Cousins guiding the ice pick into our collective brain stems.  But before they drowned their misery in some cheap-shit liquor spiked with Aqua Velva and curled up in a sorrow-spoon together, J-Dub and Eight Thirty Seven managed to intercept the following conversation between Redskins’ owner Dan Snyder and head coach Jay Gruden.

*Legal Disclaimer – J-Dub and Eight Thirty Seven have a strange way of defining certain terms. “Intercepted” should be read as “completely…