by Ryan Meehan
Following their previous two LPs released through international juggernaut Nuclear Blast, the brutal buccaneers in New Jersey’s Swashbuckle are loading their grapples to raid the deck of Get This Right Records, the label now preparing to unload the newest motherload of pillaging shanties from the trio. With the “We Hate the Sea” EP, we are offered a glimpse at where Swashbuckle’s rum-soaked minds have brought them over recent years and where their impending fourth studio full-length release will take them. Bearing four hornswagglling new rippers dispatched in less than seven minutes, We Hate the Sea will blast unsuspecting landlubbers broadside with the might of a typhoon, undoubtedly utilizing some of the crew’s most mutinous tactics to date, the jingles conceived in grog-soaked skirmishes and harnessed during sessions at The Sound of Revolution with Len Carmichael. On August 5th the quartermaster at Get This Right Records will have stockpiles of “We Hate the Sea” in a a melee of colors/pressings, including 200 on blue/white swirl, 200 on black and a limited run of 100 on red/black smoke which will be limited to preorders with a numbered, special edition cover and a message from the band. In the mid 2000s, from the crumbling ports of Central New Jersey, sprang a band that has consistently held to one unifying principle: Thrash hard; Steal harder. With a career that began as a DIY tour de force of ramshackle maritime props seamlessly blended with blistering riffs, Swashbuckle has steeped their unique brand of high-seas hijinks and nautical nonsense to an internationally tasty piratical mosh sauce via self-released demo material, a debut full length unleashed by indie record label Bald Freak Music, and two subsequent full-length albums under the world’s foremost extreme metal label, Nuclear Blast Records. Swashbuckle’s discography swims parallel to an impressive campaign of touring cycles that range from their earliest self-booked trek, to countless professionally booked circuits of North America and Europe, and rounded out by appearances at numerous top music festivals including Summer Breeze, 70000 Tons of Metal, and Wacken Open Air. Swashbuckle’s core duo of bassist/vocalist Admiral Nobeard, and guitarist/backing vocalist Commodore RedRum have weathered the years with support, or lack thereof, from several retired band members including defunct keyboardist (Cabinboy Arsewhipe), a bellyaching guitarist (Rowin’ Joe Po), the much ballyhooed, shitkickin’ drummer (Captain Crashride), and finally a loquacious percussionist (Bootsmann Collins). The pirates currently sail into the fray led by Admiral Nobeard, who we are lucky enough to have as arrrrrrrrrr guest today in 7 questions.
RM: First off, why do you hate the sea so much? Which aspect of the sea do you find to be the most irritating and why? How do you self-medicate your hatred for the bodies of water that makeup seventy percent of the fucking planet?
AN: We’ll for one thing it’s vast and it’s a bitch to travel on. Secondly some of it is blue, some of it isn’t. The closer you get to Asbury Park, NJ it’s pretty brown and gross in some areas. Thirdly, fuck blue and fuck you too. We self-medicate with copious amounts of Jack Daniels and pineapple. Bitches love pineapple.
RM: When one of the band members leaves Swashbuckle, do they have to walk the plank? What is a pirate’s favorite method of torture; and does the band keep a pegboy on their tour vessel?
AN: No. They just kind of fade off into obscurity, much like most people would like the current members of Swashbuckle to do. If you quit, you ghost like Swayze pretty hard. So you best be on top of your pottery game, Demi Moore loves ceramics. Favorite method of torture would have to be playing live for people or making them listen to our recorded material. That’s cruel and pretty usual punishment. No, we don’t keep a pegboy, but I’m sure there’s a few Gameboys handy.
RM: Which animal’s skin makes for the best drum heads and why? Do pirates have the need for drum techs?
AN: Probably whatever they use to coat Evans drumheads. (Yo Evans, how ‘bout a fucking endorsement?) What the fuck is a drum tech?
RM: Is the kind of thrash metal you play only suited for those who are pirates, or do you find that a lot of the bands you tour with do not in fact turn out to be pirates at all?
AN: It’s suitable for anyone who isn’t a fucking chud. Basically if you like fun, fast, blasting metal, then its suitable enough for you. If you’re a fucking douche-canoe, you can get fucking bent. But yes, the grand majority of the bands we tour with do not turn out to be pirates at all. They mostly turn out to be smelly dudes. But some cool dudes none the less.
RM: What inspires you to come up with the music that you play while terrorizing the earth’s drink? What environment is best suited for the creation of pirate thrash metal?
AN: Jack Daniels, comic books, Hall & Oates, and socks. That’s basically what I need in order to riff the riffs that riff your dicks. As for the environment, whatever room that holsters my guitars and Magic: The Gathering cards is best suited for creation of stupid fucking pirate thrash metal.
RM: Which song on “We Hate the Sea” is your favorite and why?
AN: “Beer Goggles”. Everyone’s had one of those horrible drunken nights where the next day they wake up in the bed of a heinous beast who’s like a 50+ on the Clydesdale Scale. Own up to it fuckers, do you got what it takes to fuck some whales? Well man the harpoons, lets bag some tail! Go fat chicks!
RM: Do you feel like there’s too much discussion about sword control in the media today? If so, do you place most of the blame on poor swordsmanship or the ever-present anti-sword agenda that chooses to ignore your rights as dictated in the Pirate Constitution?
AN: Being card-carrying members of the NSA (National Sword Association) we feel that we need to have a sword in every home. It’s your imaginary-figure-in-the-sky given right to protect your loved ones and possessions with a sword of your choosing. Damn the politicians who try to place sword control upon we hard working Americans. No, we do not place the blame on poor swordsmanship, we place it on those who choose to stifle our abilities as swordsmen in this day and age. Fuck them. We will rise up and stab all the motherfuckers with our swords of might and justice. We cannot have this farce take away what we hold so near and dear to your shitty throats.
What the fuck we’re we just talking about? I like pudding.
RM: What’s up next for you guys in the remainder of 2014 on the high seas? Any large scale pillaging in the works that we should know about?
AN: We’re doing a small trek with our bros in Nekrogoblikon from August 3rd to August 17th in the north east US and Canada. Our brand new EP entitled “WE HATE THE SEA” is dropping on August 5th. For the rest of the year, we’re going to be working on a new album and some possible tour prospects for 2015. We will also invent and perfect time travel and adamantium so we can undergo the Weapon X treatment. Also Skynet, but we’ll get to that later. Come out to a show, buy our shit, have some fun, fuck some whales.
Swashbuckle on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Swashbuckleband
Swashbuckle on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SwashbuckleBand
Once again thanks for visiting First Order Historians and enjoying more of the internet’s finest in user generated content.
Meehan
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