Movie Review Movies

10 Reasons Not To See The Avengers This Weekend

No folks, that isn’t a press photo. The sets are that bland….

By: Cal Meacham

A 94% tomato meter score could sway even the most ardent of super-hero film critics (as it did this one), but here are 10 reasons why you should skip seeing The Avengers this weekend.

  1. This is not smart like Iron Man. This is not gritty like Batman
    • What sets this apart from the Fantastic 4?  Better actors.  It has no soul at its core and the longer the film goes, the more tiring it becomes.
  2. Joss Whedon has not an ounce of original thought in his head on how to shoot an action scene, so he just takes big chunks of all the action movies that he has watched and mashes them up.  It’s like a bad case of deja vu
    • There is equal parts James Bond and Transformers when it comes to the action sequences.  Each scene seems like it has been played out so many times in every run of the mill action film, that boredom sets in.
  3. There are only a handful of laughs and a majority of the best Tony Stark quip scenes are dragged out way beyond funny.
    • Robert Downey Jr. is his normal funny self as Tony Stark/Iron Man but director Joss Whedon didn’t know when to reel him in, often letting his jokes and one liners fill full segments of dialog.
  4. The common joke is this (minus Tony Stark’s scenes) – Set up…….wait for it…….wait for it…..(sometimes punching and or kicking)….wait for it……Punchline……..Complete with people laughing before the punchline because it was dragged out too long
    • Talk about lobbing it over the plate, each joke was set up with such clumsy predictability that many movie goers were saying the punchlines before they were said on screen.
  5. The sets and green screen work is so stale that you will feel like you are inside a Dollhouse…………(crickets………)
    • I searched each set looking for a natural tone, to feel like we could actually be immersed in something other than a green screen and fake buildings.  My search was fruitless and even some of the rooftop and flying scenes were really poorly done to the point of laughable.
  6. Oh and why is Hawkeye in the movie?
    • That same question could be asked about Black Widow, but it begs the question as to why the characters were added.  They didn’t do much for the “team” and their story arc’s were unexplained and also unimportant.
  7. If you do not read The Avengers, it might not be all that interesting to watch
    • I am sure that if I was a huge fan of the Avengers, I would have different feelings for this film because I would be so geeked to see them on screen that I could overlook all the flaws.  But why should these types of films only appeal to the fan boy?
  8. The Captain America jokes get old as soon as they start telling them.  Then they go on for another hour and a half.
    • The Captain America schtick would have played better had they not gone to it over and over again.  Yes Joss, I get it he was frozen for 70 years so he doesn’t understand all of the modern verbiage and technology.  Quit beating me over the head with it.
  9. The spoon fed dialog portions of the film are far too many, the tantalizing action is far too few
    • Never is this more apparent than at the end of the film.  Instead of letting the story dissolve naturally they decide to spoon feed you portions as if you hadn’t watched any of the rest of it.  The ending was so poorly executed that it was hard to swallow the rest.
  10. Because “Follow That Bird” is on netflix instant streaming.
    • I think this point speaks for itself.
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Score: 5.5/10

Summary – A tepid exercise in fan boy kowtowing and tragically average action wrapped up with overly wrought, derivative directing.

1 Comment

  • I never ever read comic books and have no idea what the big deal is when it comes to CGI manufacturing updated versions of outdated print media.

    From everything that I’ve seen on the social networking sites, it seemed a lot like people already had their mind made up that this movie was going to be the “Feel Good Hit of the Summer”.

    “Follow That Bird” is awesome. The part where Dave Thomas and Joe Flaherty get arrested and started crying was a turning point in my life and those motherfuckers got robbed of an Oscar.


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