NFL Sports

NFL WEEK FIVE WRAPUP

by Ryan Meehan
 
The NFL’s week five news started out with the news that Raiders owner Al Davis passed away at his home Saturday morning.  Like him or not, he was one of the integral parts of the original AFL-NFL merger, he ran the Oakland Raiders the way he wanted to and never let anybody tell him otherwise.  Let’s take a look at what happened in Week 5’s on the field action. 
 

Raiders 25, Texans 20

Oaklandwon one for Al, but just barely.  This one went down to the wire luckily for them Schaub ended the game by throwing an interception in the endzone.  Look for the Texans to get back to business as soon as their schedule eases up.  
 
Seahawks 36, Giants 25

Fuck the Giants.  Seriously.  I mean, envision yourself losing at home to the Seahawks.  I do realize they have a lot of injuries, but so do the Steelers and it didn’t stop them.  Eli threw a pick six INSIDE THE GODDAMN REDZONE.  Ugh.  Every player who made a big play for the Giants Sunday (Eli, Ballard, Cruz) made up for it with something really, really dumb.  (Respectively:  interception, two false start penalties, fumble)  It only gets worse…they play the Bills next week.  Hopefully Running Back Brandon Jacobs will be back by then. 

Saints 30, Panthers 27

For the record, I had this one at 38-35, and this was a great game. Newtonis still losing games, but everyone has the right to be impressed with his ability to see opportunities all over the field.  The next challenege for the Panthers is going to be to surround him with players that would ensure they will be able to not only compete in that division but win it.

Steelers 38, Titans 17

For all of the injuries thatPittsburghhas suffered to this point, they aren’t doing that poorly.  They won’t end up in the Super Bowl like last year, but they are better than a lot of the haters are spraying.  I expected a lot more out of the Titans here, who didn’t seem to be doing a whole lot to expose the many weaknesses the Steelers had. 

Chargers 29, Broncos 24

Here we go again.  Didn’t I just say last week that the biggest problemSan Diegohas is that they don’t beat bad teams soundly?  This was another glaring example of that:  Should have won this game easy and they looked like they were on their way to doing so.  Tim Tebow was inserted into this game and will replace Kyle Orton whenDenverreturns from their bye week and plays the Dolphins.  He did a pretty decent job, but the Broncos are going to have to change their offensive gameplan.  Which is fine, but just remember how quickly people figured out the wildcat offense…It’s not so much that college formations are easy to diffuse, it’s just after a couple of breakout plays the defense is usually ready for it.  Plus they expect him to run first and throw second anyway. 

Chiefs 28, Colts 24

Remember when there was an indication that Peyton Manning wouldn’t be back for the season and everyone was debating whether or not they were a 4-12 or 5-11 team?  Well, they might be a 1-15 team.  And regardless of how “close they’re keeping it”, they’re still 0-5. It’s not like the Panthers where they have a young guy who’s showing promise but is still praised because he’s losing to “good” teams.  The Colts are losing to shitty teams.  Look out (no really) the Chiefs have won two straight!!!

Bills 31, Eagles 24

Eagles now 1-4 and looking down the barrel of a gun, and a very large one at that. Buffalomight not be getting all of the credit here but they played a hell of a game.  Vick threw four interceptions in this one, a couple were tips, but overall it was a pretty poor performance.  The Bills still look impressive and their defense made some huge plays in this one. 

Vikings 34, Cardinals 10

Until they decide to start Christian Ponder, the Vikings might as well be in the NFC West with Zona.  I thought I was going to shit my pants when I saw the score here.  How did the Vikings score 34 points?  Well, Adrian Peterson had three first quarter touchdowns and that right there was enough to balance out Donovan McNabb’s monster 10 of 21 day.  The Vikings will finish the rest of the season in last place regardless of this win.  They are still much worse than any other team in that division. 

Packers 25, Falcons 14 
At the beginning of this one, it looked pretty grim for the Packers.  Atlanta scored two touchdowns right out of the box and it appeared as if they were ready to avenge last year’s divisional playoff loss.  But shortly thereafter they fell apart and didn’t score a single point the rest of the game.  There’s almost no quit in the Packers at all.  There seems to be plenty of quit in the Falcons. 
 

49ers 48, Buccaneers 3

This is why you don’t automatically throw a team into the Super Bowl after the first four weeks.  This game tells me a couple of things:  First off,Tampacan’t play for shit on the road.  Secondly,San Franciscocan do a lot of really impressive things when they don’t have their head up their ass.  Now the move to make Harbaugh the coach is starting look like it’s paid off.  But the 49ers could very well come out and lay an egg next week like it isn’t anyone’s business. 

Lions 24, Bears 13

This game was not Jay Cutler’s fault.  Not at all.  The problem here is that the Bears offensive line was overmatched on every play and just simply not quick enough to keepDetroit’s front four in check.  Not to mention the nine false start penalties the Bears had.  Or the fact that Jahvid Best strutted 70 some yards into the endzone without being touched.  Or the fact that Jay Cutler was knocked down at the end of every play.  I could go on and on…The Bears can blow me.  As for the Lions, they’re really beginning to look like a ten win team.  Just don’t get too cocky, guys.  

Bonus non NFL but sports-related comment:  Fuck NBA Commissioner David Stern for his press releases and “breaking news” regarding the NBA lockout, which seems very timely as of late.  He did it not only at the end of Monday Night football this week, but he also did it on the last day of the baseball season because he’s a classless, wrinkled old twat that can’t stand to be out of the spotlight.  He had plenty of time to make these announcements and schedule these meetings on days where there isn’t a whole lot else going on, and I’m tired of it.  They should have at least tried to agree to disagree months ago.  I hope the entire NBA season is cancelled and I hope Stern resigns, which he won’t because he has too much pride.  For what I can’t be sure, but he definitely does. 
Once again thanks for visiting First Order Historians and enjoying more of the internet’s finest in user generated content. 
 
Meehan

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