By Ryan Meehan
A few days ago my girlfriend alerted me to a phenomenon occurring amongst young high school aged males. That phenomenon is what’s called Sack tapping.
For lack of a less colorful explanation Sack tapping is PRETTY MUCH dick punching. It’s couldn’t be any more dick punching if it tried to be. It must be some type of rite of passage for teenage boys, but it seems awfully gay to me.
But it is apparently very prevalent. It’s happening all over the country, and supposedly it’s being done to prove one’s manhood, because nothing says you’re a tough heterosexual male than getting another “heterosexual” man to puch you in the dick. And then vidoetape it and put it on YouTube.
You know who I blame for this? Reagan, for cutting all of the after school programs. Not really, but you have to wonder how short the average attention span has become. Dick punching is SO far down the list of ways to have a good time. It’s somewhere down there with a root canal with no anesthesia. I have spent zero hours in the past thirty years of my life punching people’s dicks.
There’s even a certain etiquette to this activity:
And you know it’s hot and full of testosterone, because it even made it to an episode of Judge Judy:
But not everyone sees this as a new fad: According to Wikipedia, Jack Shafer, a journalist for Slate online magazine, commented that “sack tapping” is a “bogus trend”. He argued that “sack tapping” is not new and has existed for some time. For some time? Like how long exactly? And for the record he’s full of shit, because when I was in junior high and high school, we pretty much stayed as far away from either other’s dicks as we could.
I really have to wondeer with all of the technological innovation that we have in today’s society how bored teenagers have to be to resort to genital mutilation as a form of entertainment. Why in the world would a teenage boy be so interested in punching another teenage boy in the dick. Don’t these schools have internet access? I don’t have a problem with anyone checking their Twitter or Facebook account, it’s the people walking around out for dick blood like it’s the end of the world that I have a problem with. Here again it seems really gay to me.
There are plenty of other instances other than the death where these boys have had to have testicles removed or even their entire genital area amputated, but I just ate and I’m not going to get into any of that. It’s just such a shame that because of some silly game these boy geniuses won’t be able to have kids of their own someday.
Hey wait a minute, that’s fantastic news!!!
Thanks again for visiting First Order Historians and enjoying some of the internet’s finest in user generated content.