With the NFL season just around the corner, it’s time for another two-fisted Dubsism rundown as to why your favorite team is a steaming pile of bullshit on whole wheat toast. Since your team eats ass, I’m not going to waste everybody’s time explaining why. They say brevity is the soul of wit, and what could be more brevity-er than boiling your team’s bullshit down to one sentence?
Arizona Cardinals: This team is on the same schedule as Haley’s Comet; once every 76 years the Cardinals don’t suck.
Atlanta Falcons: Instead of paying Matt Ryan over $100 million, you could have given Tim Tebow a bag of recyclable cans and got the same result.
Baltimore Ravens: The fact Ray Lewis has two Super Bowl rings stabs at the heart of all that is decent.
Buffalo Bills: It’s “Play-offs or Bust” in Buffalo…who’s got their house payment on “play-offs?” (cricket…
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