by Ryan Meehan
For the most part week seven brought us some very poor football. There appears to be a little bit of controversy over what was said or what wasn’t said by Cliff Avril and Ndamokang Suh after they sacked Matt Ryan and it looked as though he was going to be injured badly. As fate would have it, Ryan is fine and Suh and Avril are getting blasted on the air and will likely face some sort of fines. Oh, and Vikings defensive end Brian Robison kicked Packers guard square in the crotch, there’s very little debate about that because it was captured on film. Let’s take a look at what else went down:
Bears 24, Buccaneers 18
This game was played in London, England and we gave the Brits a good product this time. Matt Forte is hands down the NFC Offensive player of the week, with 145 rushing yards and a touchdown. Cutler didn’t have a great day, but was able to run the offense well even though I’m sure he’s still not cool with all the play calling. Chicago almost let this one get away, thankfully Josh Freeman is still very much in the developmental stage of NFL quarterbacking. Devin Hester caught 4 balls for 46 yards, which should excite you if you’re a Bears fan because it means they’re trying to work him into the offense more. He can’t run a reverse to save his life though, maybe it’s too obvious the ball is coming his way.
Chiefs 28, Raiders 0
Yep, you read that right. I have to admit I had no idea this was going down. Oakland used both Kyle Boller and Carson Palmer, switching to the latter in the third quarter. Each threw three picks (one pick six each) and looked very shaky at best, and combined for a QBR of 19.8. The Chiefs are back to .500 but trust me, they’re really nowhere near that good. This is a rough loss for the Raiders because this is one that could literally destroy their whole year. Think about it: They got shutout at home by four touchdowns against a Chiefs team whose quarterback went 15 for 30 and passed for only 161 yards. They deserve all the shit that will be talked about them this week and then some. End transmission.
Broncos 18, Dolphins 15
To be brutally honest with you, even though Tim Tebow engineered a great come from behind victory in this one we didn’t really learn any new information about him. We already knew he was a tireless worker and wouldn’t give up, and that he is a born leader. Beating the Dolphins in overtime doesn’t really show me a whole lot. The biggest question mark here is why Tony Sporano decided to go for the two point conversion instead of the extra point, which would have won the Miami the game. I don’t give a shit what that chart says, if it’s a 6-0 game through three quarters and both teams are struggling to get across the field, you settle for having 13 points and you’re happy with it. I expect Sporano to be fired here sooner rather than later, and personally I think he’s trying to expedite the whole process.
Texans 41, Titans 7
I told you the Titans were toy. And I knew that once the Texans’ schedule eased up they’d be able to show people what they were truly capable of. I wasn’t exactly sure who Tennessee thought they were kidding besides themselves thinking they could actually win the division, even with the Colts playing as poorly as they have been playing. Arian Foster caught a screen pass that he took 78 yards to the house, proving that a running back that can catch short passes can end up being the most valuable player on your roster. Schaub shut a lot of his fairweather haters up in this one.
Browns 6, Seahawks 3
If you pay money to get into see a pro football game, somebody better score a touchdown. But then again, if you paid money to see the Browns play the Seahawks, I don’t really have a whole lot of sympathy for you to begin with. The stat sheet from this game is nothing short of hilarious. I was watching NFL Live earlier and there was a receiver from the Browns that caught a pass in Seahawks territory and the promptly got up and made the move all of the receivers are making where they mimic the official’s first down signal, only he did it in the wrong direction. That was pretty much this entire game in a nutshell.
Steelers 32, Cardinals 20
When Ken Wisenhunt wakes up this morning he’s going to have a lot of thinking to do. The Arizona Cardinals are 1-5 and it looks as if they are stuck with a quarterback that is in way over his head. Kevin Kolb is missing easy throws and looks very uncomfortable. He’s not exactly getting fantastic pass protection all of the time, but even when he is it still looks like he doesn’t have a very good concept of the overall pace of the game. The team as a whole is in a very rough spot when you consider that San Francisco is running away from the other three teams in a division where there’s absolutely no chance of producing a wild card whatsoever. Ben Roethlisberger had a hell of a day, going 26 for 39 and throwing for 361 yards. But this was a game that I expected them to win, and I’m sure they will find it to be more of a test next week when the New England Patriots come to town.
Packers 33, Vikings 27
As formidable as the Packers look in the win column, teams are slowly finding ways to expose their weaknesses but in the end it never seems to be enough. Minnesota controlled the first half of this game and the Packers had me legitimately worried. Aaron Rodgers completed his first 13 passes, and the fourteenth was placed perfectly in Randall Cobb’s hands but he dropped it. For the life of me I can’t figure out how Green Bay only scored 33 points here. They were behind the entire first half, but what I really like about the Packers is they remain calm when those types of things happen and end up on top. Christian Ponder made a couple good throws but overall he only completed 13 of 32 so he’s got a lot of work to do.
Jets 27, Chargers 21
It’s safe to say that the team that needed the victory the most prevailed here. Whereas this didn’t have to be a game that the Chargers expected to win, Rex’s Jets had to have this one and they were lucky enough to mount a comeback. The Chargers can afford this loss especially when you consider what happened to the Raiders. But they are going to likely keep it in idle and coast their way to another AFC West Championship. I heard a really, really dumb quote from San Diego quarterback Philip Rivers after the game. He said something along the lines of “For the last six months everybody’s been talking about how the regular season doesn’t matter, and now everybody wants to talk about the regular season all of a sudden”. Couple things about that verbal abortion: If you don’t play well in the regular season, chances are that you aren’t going to get to the playoffs to begin with. Also, the media is concerned with what’s happening right now…BECAUSE THEY ARE THE FUCKING MEDIA AND THAT’S THEIR DAMN JOB. If the playoffs were in progress right now, everybody would be discussing that. And for as much as these guys say that they ignore what the media is saying, they sure seem to be well-versed with what’s been said about them the second they start losing. And here’s another reason I don’t play fantasy football: Think about how many people benched Plaxico Burress this week instead of someone else. He would finish with three touchdowns on the day.
Falcons 23, Lions 16
And just like that, the Lions have lost two straight home games. And it couldn’t have come at a worse time considering the Bears are now red hot. I’m hearing some debate on sports talk radio today about whether or not the Lions are a dirty team. I don’t think they are necessarily a dirty team collectively but I think a couple of those guys (and yes, Suh is one of them) need to scale back the excessive celebration. It’s just a sack anyway, it’s not like it’s a Safety in the Super Bowl. I understand that some of them are pumped, but seriously…settle down. The real news here is that the Lions could be in real trouble as Matthew Stafford might have injured his ankle on the last series. (As of Monday night coach Jim Schwarz is saying he’s day to day) As for the Falcons, they have no real reason to change their gameplan. Give the ball to Michael Turner between 20 to 30 times every game, then split everything in the air between White (who made a hell of a touchdown catch Sunday), Douglas (who is a bit of a third wheel but is playing excellent football right now), and Tony Gonzalez (who passed Cris Carter on the all time receptions list and is now number two). Monday their coach Mike Smith gave them an entire seven days off due to their bye week next Sunday.
Panthers 33, Redskins 20
So Washington played very poor defense in this game. Looking back on it I can’t really say that this was even an upset. The Redskins aren’t nearly as good as they appeared to be a couple of weeks ago. And while they had previously been able to avoid the injury bug that had bitten other teams so severely, they’re in real trouble because they just lost leading rusher Tim Hightower for the rest of the year to a torn ACL. It’s a shame because he was having a great season. Now, let’s look at Carolina. Previously on the Cam Newton show, he had been putting up some great stats but not getting the Ws. Sunday he went 18 for 23 with no picks and they got the win. Go figure.
Cowboys 34, Rams 7
Rookie running back DeMarco Murray rushed for 253 yards against the Rams, which was a franchise record. While 253 yards is usually a pretty large number that you would expect to be a franchise record, remember that this is a Dallas franchise that in the past employed the services of both Tony Dorsett and Emmitt Smith. That’s the fascinating thing to me, that neither one of those guys ever had a game where they had that many rushing yards. The passing game looked to be spread around pretty well: Both Jason Witten and Dez Bryant had a touchdown. Other than that, nothing much to see here as I expected Dallas to win big.
Saints 62, Colts 7
I actually enjoyed watching this even though it was a blowout. The “Suck For Luck” campaign has started for sure. For a moment, I thought the Saints might actually make it to seventy. You know a game is getting out of hand in the middle of the season when a team pulls their starting quarterback before the third quarter ends. Drew Brees had 5 touchdown passes and passed for a measly 325 yards, and Sproles would have had a lot more than 88 on the ground if they had actually needed a running game. Marques Colston also have seven receptions, two of which were touchdowns. Hopefully Mark Ingram’s bruised heel won’t be a long term issue for the team in the weeks to comes.
Jaguars 12, Ravens 7
I have to take serious issue with this because Baltimore was my dark horse. Explain to me how this works: The Ravens beat the Texans, but lose to the Jaguars AND the Titans? I don’t understand that. Jones Drew had 105 yards and Scobee kicked 4 field goals and that’s all it takes to beat the team that a lot of analysts were saying was the 2nd best team in the league Monday morning? I’m very, very disappointed in the Ravens. I think age might be finally catching up with them.
Bonus Comment for the week:
Since “Suck For Luck” seems to be a popular tending topic on Twitter, I’ll go ahead and address it now. And now is a great time to address it because I don’t want this bullshit clogging up the internet week fifteen when we should be spending our time discussing good teams that are vying for playoff positioning. There are three teams that are currently winless in the NFL: The Colts, the Rams, and the Dolphins. The Rams can’t be the worst team because their schedule is pretty tough this year. And it can’t be the Colts, because even with Manning on the bench, they’re still a very talented football team that employs the likes of Dallas Clark, Dwight Freeney, and Robert Mathis. The Dolphins are easily the worst team in the NFL. They have no idea who they want to be their quarterback, they play like shit at home, and have one of the worst coaches in the history of professional sports. So at the moment, they deserve Andrew Luck the most. They certainly are doing their best to suck, that’s for sure.
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